Ka whakaaro taku tane ki a ia ano he ahua-ahua, a he whakaaro tonu tana mo aku kakahu. Ka kohia e ahau he patiti, ka patai mai ia ki ahau, 'Karekau he iti i te wa whakamutunga?' Ka mau ahau i te koti, 'Ehara i te mea he tapahi iti?' Ka whawhai tonu matou mo taua mea, a ka mutu i roto i a ia e aue ana me te kii, 'Ae, ahakoa. ' Me pehea e taea ai e au te whakamutu ia ia, me te mau tonu i nga kakahu e pai ana ahau?
Ko te whanonga o to tane kei te haere mai hei whakahaere, kaore e kore. He take ano pea (ka tae ki tera), engari ko te mea tonu: Kare koe e nama ki tetahi he whakamaramatanga mo te ahua o taau e whiriwhiri ai ki te whakakakahu i to tinana, ina koa ko te hoa hei whakapakari i a koe, kaua e patoto i a koe. ki raro. Kei te koa ahau kei te mohio koe ehara tana whanonga i te pai, kaore hoki koe e whakaaro ki te whakarereke i a koe.
Engari, i te mea he tangata tenei e arohaina ana e koe me te whakatau kia noho tahi koe, me korero tatou me pehea koe e whakatika ai - ma te huarahi e rua.
Hipanga 1: Korero ki a ia pehea ana korero kia rongo koe .
He mea nui ki a koe te whakamaarama i te paanga o ana korero ki runga i a koe i te kare-a-roto, kaua ki te whawhai mo te koti me te hu e korerohia ana. (Ahakoa e mohio ana ahau—kei te pirangi koe ki te tiaki i te hunga rorirori, whakamuri hoki!) Ina hoki, ko te riri he urupare tuarua ki te mamae o raro, a, i tenei keehi, he mea kino ki te kore to tane e pai ki o kakahu, kare. 'Kaua e whakawhirinaki ki o whiringa, kei te ngana ranei ki te pirihimana i to tinana. Kaore he tohu o te aroha, te tautoko me te kukume.
Kia marama te korero i o kare-a-roto. He penei pea, e Babe, ka tino mamae ahau i te wa e kii ana koe, na te kowhiri i tetahi patiti, sote ranei, kei te he taku mahi. Ranei, ka kaha ahau ki te whakaputa korero mo aku kakahu katoa; he rite ki te kore koe e whakawhirinaki ki ahau, ki te whakaaro ranei kei te tono aro ahau. Kia kite ia ehara tenei i te mea iti. Engari, ko ana korero kei te tino mamae i roto i to whanaungatanga. Kia maia. Kia whakaraerae.
Hipanga 2: Patai me pehea to kakahu ka pa ki a ia .
Engari patai marie ki a ia, i waho o te tautohetohe. I etahi atu kupu, kaua e kii he hokinga kanohi, penei, Omg, he aha koe i aro nui ai? engari he patai marama me te tika: He aha te mea e raru nui ana koe mo enei patiti? Kei te pirangi ahau ki te mohio mena kei te whakaohooho tenei i a koe. Ka taea e tatou te korero mo tena?
Akene karekau he hononga ki nga kakahu, a, ko te whanuitanga e pa ana ki to hauora o to marenatanga, ki o wahanga o to oranga. Akene kei te kore ia e noho haumaru i roto i to whanaungatanga me te ngana ki te whakakaha ake i a ia ano. Ko enei korero pea he whakautu mo te whakarereketanga o tetahi o koutou, o rua ranei. Kua noho ia i roto i te ngahau? Kua eke koe ki te whare takaro me te kaha ake o te maia? Mena kei te pai to oranga me te patu i a ia, tera pea ia ka mau ki nga tikanga whakahaere hei pupuri i a koe, me te mea e mataku ana ia ka tupu nga parirau ka rere atu koe.
Na, ko te tikanga, tera pea e pa ana tenei ki te ahua rereke o te noho haumaru: Ko te mea e kite ana ia i a koe hei whakaata mo ia me tana tuunga hapori. Kaore ranei to koti e uru ki te karapu whenua e hiahia ana ia ki te haere? Kei te awangawanga ia kaore koe e kakahu pai mo ana hoa puoro hou? Kia pehi koe ia ia i runga i te he aha i muri i ana korero, tera pea ka kite ia i te he (me te mamae) o ona huarahi. A whakamahara ki a ia e aroha ana koe ki a ia ia, ehara mo tetahi mea i runga i te mata.
E mohio ana ahau he uaua tenei. Engari i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te whakaraeraetanga te whakautu. Mena ka taea e koe te whakatata atu ki tenei korerorero me te aroha nui, ki taku whakaaro ka taea e koe te whakamutu katoa enei korero.
Ko Jenna Birch te kaituhi o The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love , he aratohu whakawhanaungatanga mo nga wahine hou. Ki te patai ki a ia he patai, ka taea e ia te whakautu i roto i tetahi pouPampereDpeopleny e haere ake nei, imeera ki a ia i jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
E RUNGA ana: Kei te whakaaro taku Tane kei te matea ahau, kaore au e rongo. Me Haere Tatou ki hea?
